The Historian, Elizabeth Kostova

"...The Historian is the story of a young woman plunged into a labyrinth where the secrets of her family's past connect to an inconceivable evil: the dark fifteenth-century reign of Vlad the Impaler and a time-defying pact that may have kept his awful work alive through the ages. The search for the truth becomes an adventure of monumental proportions, taking us from monasteries and dusty libraries to the capitals of Eastern Europe..."

Nothing in that said "vampires" and "Dracula" to me.

I mean, yes, I know Vlad the Impaler is the...inspiration, let's say, for Dracula, but nothing there indicated that's the route she was going. To me. Now, had I read the quoted blurbs, I wouldn't have been surprised when vampires made their appearance, but I never do. It's not like they're going to put ones that say the book sucks, or could be written better. So, I don't bother.

So, yeah, vampires.

The Last Testament, A Memoir by God

So....God is a psychopath. And a narcissist. And a sadist. And, well, just an all around asshole.

That's my takeaway from this book.

At this point, I should probably give my disclaimer, but I'm not going to. I feel like you've got the idea from the first line. And the book's title.

Look. The book has it's funny bits, but frankly, it's just too long to stay funny. The last 75 pages is just the original Revelations next to the "revised" version. It was definitely funnier to start, though it did tend to be a bit cynical at times. Maybe even mean spirited.

An example of a good part is when "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind," is explained to mean that you shouldn't cut off a man's genitals, use a knife to carve a slit where they were, and insert your penis so you can "lie" with him as a woman.

Oh, and God did create Adam and Steve, he just changed his name to Eve post-op.

But the only thing I can say I really loved for it's value, and not it's sarcasm or humor, was almost at the end, where it says, "Blessed are they that make a reasonable attempt at abiding by as many of my (Jesus') teachings as possible, whether or not they believe in my divinity..."

And I'm going to stop there. I can quote things, or give chapters (the ones on America are pretty good), but that's about it. There aren't any characters or plot to dissect. So, final verdict: Not bad, but too long.

The Last Testament, A Memoir by God

Stormlord's Exile, Glenda Larke

I feel like I should really title this "Ode to Fantasy Fiction." I think I'm a fairly eclectic reader,  generally speaking. Maybe, with the common thread of something different, something not easy to figure out. I like to be surprised. I mean, it's fine to know that everything is going to work out in the end, but that's just common sense. I feel like this book is a really good example about what fantasy fiction can really bring to the table.

It's kind of...coincidental that I picked this book after finishing Unholy Night. In that review, I tried to focus more on matters of faith than religion. That's not going to be possible in this one. So, I'll repeat my disclaimers: 

1)      If you are hyper religious, and find any negative portrayal of religion bad or blasphemous, don't bother with this book or review. You'll probably just be unhappy.

2)      If you are hyper non-religious, and don't see the point in discussing religion you may want to stop reading this review here. I'm going to go into the thoughts religion, which you may not enjoy.

See, one of my favorite things about the fantasy genre is it's ability to criticize society without pissing anyone off because the people/places/things they criticize aren't real. How can you get pissed they're criticizing a religion/politics that don't exist? This book does that and more.

OK, confession time: I don't really remember the first 2 books in the Watergivers trilogy. I vaguely remember them, broad strokes, but the details? Nope. Not really. But I've got enough to sketch out the world for you.